Help me

while listening to Ingrid Michaelson – All Love

i found myself breathing heavily,

im trying to make myself cry but it won't do,

i wonder why.

I forgot how i look, in my every dream, i wonder who is she,

she doesnt feel a thing,

is it true, i am not brave, not strong enough?

i am trying to figure out myself,

that true love.

how and when, where and who is it?

im all alone, or it is actually what i had always want.

to be alone. is that it?

im like a nucleus,

trying to defense myself,from my past memory,

avoiding the future.. well i guess its not just me..

how am i going to find my future? If i don't trust myself.

i need help,but who?

i am not happy, i figure that out already.

i always searching, searching for something or someone or whatever it might be.

or was it all this while,ive been that nucleus,

deep inside the core, layered with proton and electron inside my shell.

i question myself? who i wanna be?

this feeling i cant keep it forever,

what im afraid of the most is someday i might lost this feeling,again,like i did last time.

That anguish,heartache, i just cant define it.

To be honest, at this moment, i just wanna be hug,by somebody i love,

who love me too,i hope.

so that i won't feel alone anymore.

I know, its kinda selfish,  because i want all this story for myself, all this world.

but then i just want the world to understand me, i just want the destiny to understand me just this time.

how i feel now?

it feels like twilight,

beautiful but empty,

sad and cold,

my twilight.

It's hard to start believe in relationship again,

but i try, i wanted to.

help me.

Those people,they said they be there for me, but now they gone.

Those people,they said i was special,but they leave me.

Those people, betrayed my trust.

It's hard to start believe in relationship again,

but i try, i wanted to.

help me.